At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
