he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
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Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
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Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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