Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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