I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
