I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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