i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
