if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize