ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
We are all done wearing pants today
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
