So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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