shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I love you. Go after that dick
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
