sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
It's never too late to be topless.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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