Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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