I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
