He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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