'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
