So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Randomize