Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
