so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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