I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Randomize