i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You ate ashes out of my bong
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
