I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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