Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
