I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
