and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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