Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize