I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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