So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
