trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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