While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
