so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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