I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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