I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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