Will you blow on my dice?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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