I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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