She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
