did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
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Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
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We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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