Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I have surprise drugs for everyone
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You're breaking my sexual little heart
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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