so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
