Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
