its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
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dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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