well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
