Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
