He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
