I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize