Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
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