sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
