Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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