You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
