bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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