Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
