remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
