Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
