I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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