You surviving the open bar?
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i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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