Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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