Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
