my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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