If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize