remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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