Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
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He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
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you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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