We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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