And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
40s are totally the cure
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
