He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
