see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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