I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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